Well here we are, in the middle of August 2012!! We had our beautifull son on May 17th, he is doing well and is a wonderfull addition to the family. Hard to believe the changes in our lives. Shyann will be going to grade one AHHHHHH I'm feeling old!! LOL!
Now that I've healed completely I hope to get back on my weight loss plan! Its been hard after having a baby. Its hard getting back on the wagon! I'm alone this time no coach just me and the things I've learned from before. I find myself making excuses, like being tired (which somedays I'am very tired). The worst thing I find is the adiction to sugar/carbs, how the body seems to love them, but how bad it is for me!! I'm going to try to a 2 week sugar free week to get my body off it and try get on the routine I was on before we were pregnant and hope my body responds in a positive matter. I still struglle with self worth and I'm VERY hard on myself! Growing up and hearing these comments makes one believe them. So hears dealing with that and getting back in the weightloss journey, wish me strength courage patience etc.... I'll try update this more... I forgot about my blog oooppps!

Once again its been a while! But here Iam, 60 pounds lighter, and still learning. Summer has been hard for me, days to hot and no energy to do my workouts. Lets just face it, Summer foods are SO hard to stay away from. And now my all time fav. summer food is in, corn on the cob!! YUMMY!!! I must say I have enjoyed a few already. Its time to get back at it, I've had a break, and although I've lost a few pounds over summer, my weight did a lot of yo yoing, which can't be good. September I start bootcamp again, very excited for that!!! That helps keep me motivated and I see results!. 50 more pounds is my goal, than I plan on taking a break and having a baby, the Lord willing, for we know He is in controle and He may have other plans in store. I pray for these pounds to fall off faster than the last 60! They do say once you start loosing at a healthy pase, the pounds will just melt off.... we'll see.

part of a conversation with a friend, my side.

and for me its not that I over ate, which a lot of people think when they see a larger person. I was eating the wrong foods for my body and didn't realize it till a while ago. With PCOS the hormone thing is HUDGE!!! and the emotional bagadge that comes with it isn't nice either. I'm not trying to sound sorry for myself but I have often asked "why me?" I'm the only one in my imidiate family that deals with over weight issues. Sure everyone has a heavy bag they are carrying around with them, personal things they struggle with on a daily babsis. I just feel that because I'm over weight you are right a way stereo typed, which isn't the case at all. I don't wish to be skinny, but healthy, that is my goal, to have a prgnancy and not here, "your high risk because your obese, you can't deliver here because your too large for the opperating table" lovely I know but thats what I heard... Like I said a lot of emotional damage done here, and I'm trying to sort through all those feelings and emotions. Yesturday was SO hard because all I wanted was that peice of cake, a cookie, a banana etc.... all the food that I HAVE to stay away from. Seriously if I eat them I'm garanteed to gain 3-5 pounds! Anyway I'm finished ramping maybe I should cut and paste this into my blog, lol....

May 2011

Now that I've fingured out how to use this thing... . Wow not really sure where to begin this blog. I've started my weight loss journey last sept or oct. Since I've started I've lost 40 pounds. It hasn't been easy, a lot of emotional stress, ups and downs. I have a great support system, and a great friend in whom I'm accountable to. She helps keep me focused, and when I fall shes there to pick me up. Pcos is not something I find that is talked about much, and I find that doctors try to cover up the root of the problem instead of dealing with whats really there. With my support person she has done so much research for me and tought me so much. Foods to stay away from, things that will help the symptoms of pcos etc.... Progesterone cream is my best friend, that helps my hormone levels. Thats a long story as well, and maybe I can get into that later. As of right now I've started the Dukan diet, and with the research my friend and now me are doing it promises a lot. The first week on it I lost 6 pounds, and in two weeks 10 pounds. Now because I "cheated" I have to somewhat start over, BUT the results are there. Its incredible how our bodys react to what we eat. For those with PCOS and I'm sure others as well CARBS ARE BAD!!! Carbs send your body on a roller coaster of sugar highs and lows. When your bodys sugar is high your body releases insulin and your body stores that as fat. The less carbs you eat the better. I've been through a lot, with the loss of my daughter at 11 weeks old, and since have been blessed with Anneke, but I struggle daily. I struggle with not thinking I can do this, I beat myself up for every mistake I make. I get into a downer and just want to give up, I think I'm not deserving of this. I need to tell myself daily that I can do this I have to do this, not only for my health but for my family. We are given life by such an awsome God, and how can we possibly think we are useless, He crealted us with purpose and reason. I count my blessings and remember why I'm here, and that is to praise my God in all I do in my life. My body does not belong to me and therefore I have to take care of it, love it, and love who I'am. I write this with ease, but knowing it and following it is difficult. Loosing weight and struggling with the affects of pcos is a chalange everyday. Hair growth, acne, being over weight, and the world gives off this rule that thin is beautifull, but what about whats inside. I can live my life in self pitty or embrace it love it, and live accordingly. I will try my best to "report" weekly. Just to warn you I will be writing how I feel, I believe thats a great stress relief, not only that its real. Have a good week, and again if your wondering what PCOS is google it!! You'll see and learn why its so difficult. Till next time.